I adore this website. There are so many things that I would love to have (and to play with.) Clearly I have expensive tastes! Some of my favorites:

Traditional Stress Relief

You’ve had a long hard week. You come home from work in your suit and tie. I greet you at the door in my prettiest dress and heels. It’s 50’s style with a petticoat and everything. I want to give you some nice traditional stress relief. I take your coat and loosen your tie and hand you a drink. There’s a fresh baked pie cooling by the window and dinner’s in the oven. I take your hand and we walk into the living room. I sit on the ottoman and remove your shoes and socks. I massage your feet and ask about your day. When you’re done talking and your drink is almost done I stand and pull you to your feet.
“Poor dear,” say I, “let me help you relax.”
I turn you gently to face the couch and I remove your shirt and tie. I am slow and methodical, rubbing the tension from your chest and shoulders. I sit before you on the couch and remove your belt. Your eyes are half closed and a smile teases the corner of your mouth. I can see you are enjoying this little game, so far. As I remove your pants I can see that all parts of you are enjoying this little game. I lean forward and you can feel my breath on your abdomen. I gaze up at you and smile. I can see you are keenly anticipating what will happen next. Not wanting to keep you waiting too long for your stress relief, I gently kiss the tip of your erect penis.
Then I grab your arm and pull you down over my knees. You let out a startled laugh and I land a few quick spanks on your bottom. When I have you nice and pink I reach between the couch cushions where I have stashed my new purchase.
“What do you think?” I ask and show you the vintage wooden spoon with the pink floral decal painted on the back.
You make a sound that is half laugh and half moan. I like the sound and smile again. I point to the kitchen timer on the end table, which is counting down from about 20 minutes at this point.
“When that goes off, dinner will be ready.”
I put the remaining time to good use and try out my new wooden spoon.